Psychic retreat fits my 30 years on ex-husband (father of our 2 sons) and his retreat from fatherhood after our younger son was born. The older one, turning 3 a month after his brother was born, acted up a bit, the usual after the birth of a younger sibling. My then husband had a great deal of difficulty containing his anger at our normally well-behaved firstborn. His own father was violent, probably exhibited obsessive-compulsive behavior and might have been on the autism spectrum. I can say this as a trained teacher of children with special needs, looking back on my former father in law's habit of reloading the dishwasher after others "didn't do it right" and after reflecting on my ex's (and his younger sister's) reminiscences of their father hauling them out of the car and using his belt to spank them. Vainly, I tried to get my then husband to go into therapy with a trauma specialist after I discovered his cross-dressing diaries. There were three of those sketchbooks, with details of his interactions with men, his resentment of me and his irritation with our son, the length of which indicated that the secret life went back into the months of my second pregnancy. Diagnosed as "transsexual" in his first appointment with the "sexologist" in 1993, he fell right into the mystery of the secret life, expecting me to hold down the fort with our sons and tolerate his escapades. I decided no. I was vilified, reviled and shamed by him and his therapists. Please start asking trans widows.
Thanks for this, Steven. I'm glad you understood what I was saying.
Psychic retreat fits my 30 years on ex-husband (father of our 2 sons) and his retreat from fatherhood after our younger son was born. The older one, turning 3 a month after his brother was born, acted up a bit, the usual after the birth of a younger sibling. My then husband had a great deal of difficulty containing his anger at our normally well-behaved firstborn. His own father was violent, probably exhibited obsessive-compulsive behavior and might have been on the autism spectrum. I can say this as a trained teacher of children with special needs, looking back on my former father in law's habit of reloading the dishwasher after others "didn't do it right" and after reflecting on my ex's (and his younger sister's) reminiscences of their father hauling them out of the car and using his belt to spank them. Vainly, I tried to get my then husband to go into therapy with a trauma specialist after I discovered his cross-dressing diaries. There were three of those sketchbooks, with details of his interactions with men, his resentment of me and his irritation with our son, the length of which indicated that the secret life went back into the months of my second pregnancy. Diagnosed as "transsexual" in his first appointment with the "sexologist" in 1993, he fell right into the mystery of the secret life, expecting me to hold down the fort with our sons and tolerate his escapades. I decided no. I was vilified, reviled and shamed by him and his therapists. Please start asking trans widows.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eg0vezEPRJA&t=1s
Hi, a lot of what Marcus Evans and Susan Evans write about uses the phrase "psychic retreat," maybe that's where you heard it?
Thank you for these insights and your other essays.